Damsel in Distress

One morning, at the crack of dawn, a little bird told me that a damsel in distress was locked in the highest room of the tallest tower in a castle protected by a fire breathing dragon. I got onto my trusty steed and we were on our way. I raced towards the castle, the wind blowing through my hair. I had nerves of steel and a fountain of energy to help me defeat this man eating beast. As I approached the castle, I started to get cold feet. I saw fire spew forth from the court yard. My blood ran cold and I wondered if I had bitten of more than I could chew. I decided to just go with the flow and entered the castle. The dragon looked at me and grunted, "Well, look what the cat dragged in."

It was wrinkled as a prune and old as dirt. I bellowed at it,"My God, you are ugly. You must have fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!"

It raised its eyebrow, and spit a fireball at me. I fell off my high horse and hit the ground running. A flood of tears leaked from my eyes as the fireball singed my hair. It was hot as hell, and I knew I was in deep shit. My gut reaction was to run away but instead, I raised my sword and charged at it. I was looking death in the eyes, but I laughed in the face of danger and screamed," It's a dog eat dog world, and I am the top dog. You are going down!"

"Well then sir knight, it's on! It's now or never! Come and get me!", the dragon roared. I ducked to the left as a fire ball whizzed past my head. I was ready for this, though. I spent all my life training for this one moment. I felt light as a feather and strong as an ox.

"You are the scum of the earth, go back to where you came from!" I called to it.

"You don't scare me puny human!" He jumped into the sky and hovered over me.

"Look in the sky! It's a bird, no it's a plane! No it's a..." I pointed to the sky behind it. It turned around and I stabbed his belly. If dumb were dirt, he would have been about an acre. It fell from the sky and bit the dust. Once in a blue moon you would find a dragon as dumb as this one was, but not very often. "Ha dragon! Put that in your pipe and smoke it! Now princess, I can save you and we will live happily ever after!" I chortled.

Then suddenly, I felt a hot breath on my neck. I turned around and there was another dragon, twice as large, looking down on me. "You shouldn't count your chickens before they hatch!" It growled.

As they say, when it rains it pours. I lifted my sword and charged!

To be continued...